49. First Meeting of Peter and the Messiah.
With my soul dejected by too many things, I am praying to receive illumination. And I am led to chapter 12 of the Epistle to the Hebrews and the strength of my spirit is really reinvigorated and once again I have the energy « to listen ». In fact when I am oppressed by so many things, I feel like saying: « I do not want to do anything any more. An ordinary life, an ordinary life at all costs. » But I know who it is « Who speaks » and I see Him look at me with loving beseeching eyes. And I can no longer say: « I do not want. » God is really a fire which devours also the inclinations of our human nature when the latter yields to Him. To Him Who speaks saying: « I will not leave you, I will not abandon you », I want to repeat once again with full confidence: « You are of much help to me, I do not fear man. O God, do not disappoint my hope.. » -------------------- At 2 p.m. I see the following: Jesus is coming along a little road, a path between two fields. He is alone. John is moving towards Him along a different path in the fields and he meets Him at last, going through an opening in a hedge. John, both in yesterday's vision and today's is very young. His face is rosy and beardless, the fair complexion of a youth, who can hardly be called a man. There are no signs of moustache or beard, but only the smoothness of his rosy cheeks, his red lips, and his bright smile and pure look, not so much because of its deep turquoise hue, as because of the limpidity of his virginal soul shining through his eyes. His blond-brown long soft hair undulates at each step while he walks almost as fast as if he were 49. First Meeting of Peter and the Messiah. 151 running. When he is about to pass through the hedge, he shouts: « Master! » Jesus stops and turns round, smiling. « Master, I have longed so much for You! The people in the house where You live told me that You had come towards the country. But they did not say where. I was afraid I might not meet you. » While speaking, John has bent his head slightly, out of respect. And yet, he is full of truthful love, both in his attitude and in his eyes, which he raises towards Jesus, while his head is still gently inclined towards his shoulder. « I saw you were looking for Me and I came towards you. » « You saw me? Where were You, Master? » « Over there » and Jesus points to a group of trees far away, which, by the color of their foliage, I would say were olive-trees. « I was over there. I was praying, and thinking what to say this evening in the synagogue. But I came away as soon as I saw you. » « But how could You see me, if I can hardly see the place, hidden as it is behind that hedge? » « And yet, you see, here I am. I came to meet you because I saw you. What the eye does not do, love does. » « Yes, love does. You love me, therefore, Master? » « And do you love Me, John, son of Zebedee? » « So much, Master. I think I have always loved You. Before meeting You, long before, my soul was looking for You, and when I saw You, my soul said to me: “Here is the One you are seeking”. I think I met You, because my soul perceived You. » « You said it, John, and what you say is right. I also came towards you because My soul perceived you. For how long will you love Me? » « Forever, Master. I no longer want to love anybody, but You. » « You have a father and a mother, brothers and sisters, you have your life, and with your life, you have a woman and love. How will you be able to leave all that for My sake? » « Master… I do not know… but I think, if it is not pride to say so, that Your fondness will take the place of father and mother, of brothers and sisters, and also of a woman. I will be compensated for everything, if You love me. » « And if My love should cause you sorrows and persecutions? » « They will be nothing, if You love me. » « And the day I should die… » « No! You are young, Master… Why die? » « Because the Messiah has come to preach the Law in its truthfulness and to accomplish Redemption. And the world loathes the Law and does not want redemption. Therefore they persecute God's messengers. » « Oh! Let that never be! Do not mention that prediction of death to him who loves You!… But if You should die, I would still love You. Allow me to love You. » John's look is an imploring one. He has bowed his head lower than ever, and he walks beside Jesus, and seems to be begging love. Jesus stops. He looks at him, scrutinises him with His deep, penetrating eyes, and then lays His hand on his bowed head. « I want you to love Me. » « Oh! Master! » John is happy. Although his eyes shine with tears, his well shaped young mouth smiles. He takes the divine hand, kisses it on its back, and presses it to his heart. They take to the road again. « You said you were looking for Me… » « Yes, to tell You that my friends want to meet You… and because, oh! how I was longing to be with You again! I left You only a few hours ago… but I could no longer be without You. » « Have you therefore been a good announcer of the Word? » « Also James, Master, spoke of You in such a way as… to convince them. » « So that also he who had no confidence – and is not to be blamed because his reserve was due to prudence – is now convinced. Let us go and give him full assurance. » 49. First Meeting of Peter and the Messiah. 152 « He was somewhat afraid… » « No! Not afraid of Me! I have come for good people and even more for those who stand in error. I want to save people, not to condemn them. I will be full of mercy with honest people. » « And with sinners? » « Also. By dishonest people, I mean those who are spiritually dishonest and hypocritically they feign to be good, whereas they do ill deeds. And they do such things, and in such a way for their own profit and to secure an advantage over their neighbors. I will be severe with them. » « Oh! Simon, then, need not worry. He is as loyal as no one else. » « That is what I like, and I want you all to be so. » « Simon wants to tell You many things. » « I will listen to him after speaking in the synagogue. I asked them to inform the poor and sick people in addition to the rich and healthy ones. They are all in need of the Gospel. » They are near the village. Some children are playing in the road and one of them runs into Jesus' legs and would have fallen if He were not quick in getting hold of him. The child cries just the same, as if he had been hurt and Jesus, holding him in His arms, says: « An Israelite who is crying? What should the thousands of children have done, who became men, crossing the desert with Moses? And yet, the Most High Lord sent the sweet manna for them, rather than for the others, because He loves innocent children and looks after these little angels of the earth, these wingless little birds, just as He sees to the sparrows of woods and towns. Do you like honey? Yes? Well, if you are good, you will eat a honey which is sweeter than the honey of your bees. » « Where? When? » « When, after a life of loyalty to God, you will go to Him. » « I know that I cannot go there unless the Messiah comes. My mother says that now, we in Israel, are like many Moses and we die seeing the Promised Land. She says that we are there, waiting to go in, and that only the Messiah will make us go in. » « What a clever little Israelite! Well, I tell you that when you die, you will go to Paradise at once, because the Messiah will already have opened the gates of Heaven. But you must be good. » « Mummy! Mummy! » The child slides down from Jesus' arms and runs towards a young woman, who is entering her house holding a copper amphora.« Mummy! The new Rabbi told me that I will go to Paradise at once when I die and I will eat so much honey… if I am good. I will be good! » « God grant it! I am sorry, Master, if he troubled You. He is so lively! » « Innocence does not trouble, woman. May God bless you, because you are a mother who is bringing her children up in the knowledge of the Law. » The woman blushes at being praised and replies: « May the blessing of the Lord be with You, too. » And she disappears with her little one. « Do You like children, Master? » « Yes, I do, because they are pure… sincere… and affectionate. » « Have you any nephews, Master? » « I have but My Mother… In Her there is purity, sincerity, the love of the most holy children, together with wisdom, justice and the fortitude of adults. I have everything in My Mother, John. » « And You left Her? » « God is above also the holiest mother. » « Will I meet Her? » « Yes, you will. » « And will She love me? » « She will love you because She loves whoever loves Her Jesus. » « Then You have no brothers? » « I have some cousins on My Mother's husband's side. But every man is My brother, and I have come for everybody. We are now at the synagogue. I am going in, and you will join Me with your friends. » 49. First Meeting of Peter and the Messiah. 153 John goes away, and Jesus goes into a square room with the usual display of triangular lamps and lecterns with rolls of parchment. There is already a crowd waiting and praying. Jesus also prays. The people whisper and make their comments behind Him, as He bows to the head of the synagogue, greeting him, and He asks for a roll at random. Jesus begins His lesson. He says: « The Spirit makes Me read the following things for you. At chapter seven of the book of Jeremiah, we read: “Yahweh Sabaoth, the God of Israel, says this: 'Amend your behavior and your actions and I will stay with you here in this place. Put no trust in delusive words like these: This is the sanctuary of Yahweh, the sanctuary of Yahweh, the sanctuary of Yahweh! But if you do amend your behavior and your actions, if you treat each other fairly, if you do not exploit the stranger, the orphan and the widow, if you do not shed innocent blood in this place, and if you do not follow alien gods, to your own ruin, then here in this place I will stay with you, in the land that long ago I gave to your fathers forever' ”. Listen, Israel. Here I am to illuminate for you the words of light, which your dimmed souls can no longer see or understand. Listen. There is much weeping in the land of the People of God: old people cry remembering past glories, adults cry because they are bent under the yoke, children cry because they have no prospects of future glory. But the glory of the earth is nothing compared to a glory which no oppressor, except Mammon and ill will, can take away. Why are you crying? Because the Most High, Who was always good to His people, has now turned His face elsewhere and no longer allows His children to see His Countenance? Is He no longer the God Who parted the sea and made Israel cross it and led the people through the desert and nourished them, and defended them from their enemies, and that they might not lose the way to Heaven, He gave a Law for their souls, as He had sent them a cloud for their bodies? Is He no longer the God That sweetened the waters and sent manna to His worn out children? Is He not the God Who wanted you to settle in His land and made an alliance with you as Father with his children? Well, then, why has the foreigner struck you? Many amongst you mumble: “And yet the Temple is here!” It is not enough to have the Temple and to go and pray God in it. The first temple is in the heart of every man and that is where holy prayers should be said. But a prayer cannot be holy unless the heart first amends its way of living and with his heart man also amends his habits, affections, the rules of justice towards the poor, servants, relatives and God. Now look. I see rich hard-hearted men who make rich offerings to the Temple, but they never say to a poor man: “Brother, here is a piece of bread, and a penny. Take them. From man to man, and let not my help discourage you as my offering may not make me proud”. I see people who, in their prayers, complain to God because He does not hear their prayers promptly; then when a poor wretch, very often a relative, says to them: “Listen to me”, they reply heartlessly: “No”. I see you crying because your money is squeezed out of your purses by your ruler. But then you squeeze blood out of those you hate and you are not filled with horror when you take the blood and life away from a body. O Israel! The time of Redemption has come. Prepare its ways in your hearts with good will. Be honest, good, love one another. The rich must not despise the poor; merchants must not defraud; the poor must not envy the rich. You are all of one blood, and you belong to one God. You are all called to one destiny. Do not shut with your sins the Heavens that the Messiah will open for you. Have you erred so far? Err no longer. Abandon all errors. The Law is simple, easy and good as it goes back to the original ten commandments, illuminated by the light of love. Come. I will show you which they are: love, love, love. God's love for you. Your love for God. Love for your neighbors. Always love, because God is love, and those are the Father's children who know how to live love. I am here for everybody, and to give everybody the light of God. Here is the Word of the Father that becomes food for you. Come, taste, change the blood of your spirits with this food. Let every poison vanish, let every lust die. A new glory is offered to you: the eternal one, to which all those will come whose hearts will truly study the Law of God. Start from love. There is nothing greater. When you know how to love, you will already know everything, and God will love you, and God's love means help against all temptations. May the blessing of God be on those who turn to God with their hearts full of good will. » Jesus is silent. The people whisper. The meeting breaks up after some hymns, many of which are sung like psalms. 49. First Meeting of Peter and the Messiah. 154 Jesus goes out onto the little square. On the doorstep there are John and James with Peter and Andrew. « Peace to you » says Jesus and He adds: « Here is the man who in order to be just must not judge before knowing. But he is honest in admitting he is wrong. Simon, you wanted to see Me? Here I am. And you, Andrew, why did you not come before? » The two brothers look at each other embarrassed. Andrew whispers: « I did not dare. » Peter blushes, but does not speak. But when he hears Jesus say to his brother: « Were you doing any wrong in coming? One must not dare do only evil things » he intervenes frankly: « It was my fault. He wanted to bring me to You at once. But I… I said… Yes, I said “I don't believe it”, and I did not want to come. Oh! I feel better now!… » Jesus smiles, then He says: « And because of your sincerity I tell you that I love you. » « But I… I am not good… I am not capable of doing what You said in the synagogue. I am quick tempered and if anyone offends me eh! I am greedy and I like money… and in my fish business eh! not always… I have not always been honest. And I am ignorant. And I have little time to follow You to receive Your Light. What shall I do? I would like to become as You say… but… » « It is not difficult, Simon. Are you acquainted a little with the Scriptures? Are you? Well, think of the prophet Micah. God wants from you what Micah said. He does not ask you to tear your heart apart, neither does He ask you to sacrifice your most holy affections. He does not ask you for the time being. One day, without being requested by God, you will give God your own self. But He will wait while the sun and the dew turn you, a thin blade of grass as you are now, into a sturdy, glorious palm tree. For the time being, He asks you only this: to be just, to love mercy, to take the greatest care in following your God. Strive to do that and Simon's past will be cancelled and you will become a new man, the friend of God and of His Christ. No longer Simon, but Cephas, (1) the safe rock on which I lean. » « I like that! I understand that. The Law is so… is so… that is, I cannot comply with it any longer, as the rabbis have made it. But what You say, yes,… I think I will be able to do it. And You will help me. Are You staying in this house? I know the owner. » « I am staying here. But I am going to Jerusalem and after I will preach throughout Palestine. I came for that. But I will often be here. » « I will come to hear You again. I want to be Your disciple. A little of the light will enter my head. » « Your heart, above all, Simon. Your heart. And you, Andrew, have you nothing to say? » « I am listening, Master. » « My brother is shy. » « He will become a lion. It is getting dark. May God bless you, and grant you a good haul. Go now. » « Peace be with You. » They go away
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